Sometimes it's the simple things--saying "please" and "thank you," observing the proper way to introduce people or remembering a person's name that builds relationships and ultimately wins us the contract or lands us a job. Those simple, yet often overlooked, niceties are highlighted in a wonderful book I just read called Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work by Jacqueline Whitmore. 

Ms. Whitmore, a nationally acclaimed expert in business etiquette, provides an engaging primer for veterans and novices alike in this book that covers everything from how to engage (or disengage) from a networking conversation to the right fork to use at a formal dinner. She offers guidance on small touches that equal big rewards and the power of a personal thank-you note.
 
As someone who is committed to refining my listening skills, I was taken with Ms. Whitmore's simple steps to becoming a better listener. Attentive listening, she writes, builds trust... and we all know that people like to do business with people they trust.  Here, with permission from the author, are ten ways to become a better listener:  

1. Ask pertinent questions. Asking questions demonstrates a sincere interest in the other person, and it's the hallmark of a good listener.
2. Practice empathic listening. Put yourself in the other person's shoes with the intent of understanding versus replying (can't you always tell when someone's just waiting for his/her turn to talk?).
3. Listen with your entire body. Nod occasionally, make eye contact and, with permission, take notes.
4. Share personal stories. Stories are a powerful way to break down barriers and build relationships.
5. Paint a visual picture. This helps you track with the speaker and remember their story later on.
6. Don't interrupt. Whether we realize it or not (and I'm guilty as charged), we interrupt to demonstrate we understand. Don't.
7. Pause before you reply. Don't be afraid of silence--it's like white space on the page.
8. Eliminate distractions. Turn off or away from anything that distracts you from the speaker, and you'll earn his/her admiration and respect forever.
9. Speak with a purpose. We hang onto the words of those who save their words until they have something to say.
10. Don't give unsolicited advice. As tempting as it may be, save your advice (or "coaching") for those who are asking--or better yet, paying--for it.

All the World's a Stage 

The famous bard Will Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players..." and who knows that better than the people at The Second City (www.secondcity.com) in Chicago? The famous incubator for improvisational talent has launched the careers of such luminaries as Tina Fey, the Belushi brothers and most of the original cast of Saturday Night Live. 
 
I was lucky to be part of a training offered by Sarah Finch, producer and director of learning for the Second City Communications, who spoke to the National Speakers Association of Illinois (www.nsa-il.org) at our March meeting. Some key principles I learned from Sarah as she took us through a few exercises in improvisation: 

And One More "Thank you..."